For us.

This is a little intense your second dose of the consecration but hey, the Lord's will be done...

Imitation of Christ: Book 1, Chapter 25 (continued)

But if thou observest any thing worthy of reproof, beware thou do not the same. And if at any time thou hast done it, labor quickly to amend thyself. As thine eye observeth others, so art thou by others noted again.

How sweet and pleasant a thing it is, to see brethren fervent and devout, obedient and well-disciplined! How sad and grievous a thing it is, to see them walk disorderly, not applying themselves to that for which they are called! How hurtful a thing it is, when they neglect the purpose of their calling and busy themselves in things not committed to their care!

Be mindful of the purpose thou hast embraced, and set always before thee the image of the Crucified. Good cause thou hast to be ashamed in looking upon the life of Jesus Christ, seeing thou hast not as yet endeavored to conform thyself more unto Him, though thou hast been a long time in the way of God. A religious person that exercizeth himself seriously and devoutly in the most holy life and passion of our Lord, shall there abundantly find whatsoever is profitable and necessary for him, neither shall he need to seek any better thing, besides Jesus. O if Jesus crucified would come into our hearts, how quickly and fully should we be. A man fervent and diligent is prepared for all things.

It is harder toil to resist vices and passions, than to sweat in bodily labors. He that avoideth not small faults, by little and little falleth into greater. Thou wilt always rejoice in the evening, if thou spend the day profitably. Be watchful over thyself, stir up thyself, warn thyself, and whatsoever becometh of others, neglect not thyself. The more violent thou uses against thyself, the more shalt thou progress. Amen.


The final line is not meant to suggest that we should do violence against ourselves. Quite the opposite - we should love our selves so much, in light of our being made in the image and likeness of God, that we strive to grow deeper in our self-knowledge and awareness with every passing moment. So that we might strive to be sufficiently equipped, with ever increasing understanding of the ways of the Lord, to continually examine our lives and consciences in pursuit of conformity to His will. The world tells us to be happy and satisfied with who we are. It tells us that we should be proud, stand our ground and let no one try to change us. But how can we grow if plant our feet firmly upon ground which the warmth of the sun never touches? We are comfortably rooted in the cool shade for a time, but eventually we wither and die from lack of sunlight - the nourishment we need to continue growing more beautiful and higher toward heaven.



Let us never be satisfied. With every moment let us grow in understanding of how completely undeserving we would be of God's Mercy, except that He Himself invites us to eternal satisfaction through acceptance of this Mercy. He did not come to call the righteous.

He came for us.

Milking Cows, 27 & the Patron Saints of Impossible Situations

God sure did have a fun idea in mind when he had me set St.Jude & St. Rita as the patron saints of the 99-Day Novena Relay’s 8th leg! I had no idea when I was choosing them, that they would be coming to our assistance smack dab in the middle of this two-weeksof donation matching. Are you excited to see what the Lord does for the next 9 days? I am ;). Five weeks to my entrance date, less than three weeks until my half marathon and a little over $31k left to raise. Anything is possible for those who love God, and so I ask you to pray with me through these saints! They’re experts at impossible causes and desperate situations… so I’m not worried. 

I was so blessed to spend this past weekend at the Priory – my final visit (God willing) before my entrance date. The Lord gave me to be present for Norbertine history – as the first Praemonstratensian monastery for canonesses in America was blessed by Father Abbot Eugene Hayes, O.Praem. – the superior of St. Michael’s Abbey. Mother asked me to process at the end of the line of sisters as we went through each different part of the building as Father Abbot blessed each room. Funny that this final visit should come just as World Youth Day was about to kick off in Rio. As I walked in line with my sisters for the first time, I found that I was the barrier between the religious and the laity who were blessed to attend. I joyfully recalled the moment when I felt the Lord asking me to discern becoming one of His brides – a moment at World Youth Day in Madrid where I stood in a circle as the barrier between my friends and the Sisters of Life, a beautiful religious community that I discerned joining directly thereafter.

It was a joy to be able to meet a few of the sisters I hadn’t previously met, and the reception that followed the blessing of the house. And a great privilege to get to speak once more with Father Abbot – who pointed out that I will be the 27^th sister in the community, and that 3x3x3 is the perfect number. Wow. 27 is my dad’s favorite number too. And only yesterday as I was watching our Holy Father’s arrival in Rio with my mom, did I realize that I was called to religious life at the 27^th WYD. I’ll be 27 years old when I receive the holy habit and my new name. God is incredible.

I ended the weekend by milking the cows and goats. I have been given a number of different tasks to do during community work hours during my previous visits. But I think milking was my favorite so far!  It was gross and awesome. Probably not very prudent of me to be writing this. But I think everyone should seek out the opportunity to milk farm animals at least once in your life! How funny God is in allowing such immense joy to be felt from doing things that once upon a time might have made us cringe just a little. 

After a few days off from training (during marathon training I discovered that it was not smart for this running amateur to try and train in the mountains…) I was back on the road yesterday with a 3mi warmup. A bit of a longer run tonight, and then increasing distances until this Sunday. I am continuing to pray for you all during each run, and your prayer requests are such an amazing motivation for me to keep running for the Lord, even as the hot summer of central California sometimes temps me to stop or slow down. Not that I’m very fast to begin with! But I love you, my friends. You have helped me so much and I am so humbled to give this small gift of my training to the Lord for your prayer intentions.

Please pray now, that the Lord will continue to do magnificent things in all of our lives. Pray especially for three of my best friends, who are also embarking upon new journeys in their vocation to holiness.

St. Jude & St. Rita, ora pro nobis!

"It is not that I have reached it yet, or have already finished my course; but I am racing to grasp the prize if possible, since I have been grasped by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not think of myself as having reached the finish line. I give no thought to what lies behind the push on to what is ahead. My entire attention is on the finish line as I run toward the prize to which God calls me - life on high with Christ Jesus. All of us who are spiritually mature must have this attitude If you see it another way, God will clarify the difficulty for you. It is important that we continue on our course, no matter what stage we have reached."

2 WEEKS of DONATION MATCHING!!!

AMAZING news my friends! Someone has just come forward and offered to MATCH EVERY DOLLAR that is given for my vocation from today, July 17^th, until the end of the month!!! That means that any amount given will count for twice as much. Praise Jesus! What a blessing. Thank you for already helping me out with gifts and prayers, now can you please help me spread the word to anyone who you think might be able to give over the next two weeks? Every little bit helps.

I’m now 25 days away from my half marathon and 42 days from my entrance date! This morning I had an absolutely beautiful 4mi jog. Tomorrow I will run 8 before I take a few days off, as I will head out to the Priory for my last visit (God willing) before entrance. The canonesses’ new house is being blessed this Saturday, and Mother Mary Augustine has invited me to attend with a few other aspirants. What a blessing to be invited to this dedication! They weren't able to invite many people since there isn't much space for large crowds inside the cloistered building. I will be praying for you all during my time there, Thursday evening to Sunday morning. Please message me with any specific prayer requests! 

Now is a crucial time my friends. Please pray that the Lord will continue to give me peace about doing His will in His timing. And pray that other souls will be moved to help me like you have, for the next two weeks especially. God bless you!

St. Faustina, ora pro nobis

St. Benedict, ora pro nobis

St. Evermode, ora pro nobis

St. Peter, ora pro nobis

St. Mary Magdalene, ora pro nobis

Become a saint! 

28 Days to Litany Run 2!!!

My dear friends, today we kicked off Leg 7 (lucky #7??) ofthe 99-Day Novena Relay leading up to the Feast of St. Augustine, and my entrance date – August 28^th! I’ve had a number of wonderful people report the fruits that they are experiencing from this novena… and it is always such a blessing to receive message about how the Lord is working in your lives. He refuses nothing that is asked of Him with humble and contrite hearts. Deo gratias! In addition to the powerful intercession of Our Lady, St. Benedicts Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, and Sts. Norbert & Evermode – we are now also asking for the intercession of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Peter. It goes without saying how important these two disciples of the Lord are, and what a grace it is to pray through them with you!

As my next race draws nearer and time to get sponsorships before the middle of August runs short – I have been reflecting quite a lot lately on how generous He is to offer us Him mercy, no matter how badly we have offended Him and rejected His goodness. Our God is one of justice – yes, absolutely. But He is always ready to forgive those who truly seek forgiveness and a conversion of heart. We should all be striving for deeper conversion, always. Jesus said to be perfect because our heavenly Father is perfect, and we must never cease trying to reach this perfection! While we know we will only attain it in heaven, we are asked to do all that we can in this life to be humble and good as our Lord is. May we never grow lukewarm or satisfied with what we give back to Him – for He has given us everything. His very Son. His very life! 

How merciful the Lord was to Mary Magdalene. She was considered practically the scum of the earth, and yet He chose her to be one of His closest and most beloved followers. Christ could have resented St. Peter, for He knew that the Apostle would deny Him three times.  After all they had been through together! And yet our Lord chose Him as the one who would hold the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. Oh what great hope we can take from these two beautiful heroes of our heritage! The God of justice calls the worst of sinners to be His greatest saints! 

Most of the reason I have not written in a few weeks is that I have been quite busy running around making preparations for entrance, and while this has included some logistical planning – most of this preparation has been spiritual. I’ll let you in on a little secret – St. Faustina’s Diary and all things Divine Mercy related have been enveloping my whole life over the last few months. Words cannot describe how close this saint has become to me – and I can’t believe I didn’t include her in the 99-Day Novena originally! She’s now alongside my confirmation saint – Maximilian Kolbe – in the 9 days before the final Novena through St. Augustine. The message of Divine Mercy that our Lord Jesus gave to St. Faustina is so important that I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to really learn anything about this devotion. I won’t even begin to go into details about how it is flipping my life 180 degrees in the direction of true sacrifice in view of holiness. But if you don’t know anything about the Divine Mercy – I beg you to begin finding out about it immediately! 

As far as fundraising goes – well its time to kick it back into high gear, folks. Thank you SO MUCH for your support thus far. If you have supported me either through finances, prayers, or sharing my story – be assured that I have kept you in my prayers every single day, and will continue to do so. If you have the means, I ask you to pray and consider giving perhaps one more time in the near future, and more than that – please please please share this as much as you can! As I continue training for the Water to Wine Half Marathon in Sonoma, CA on August 11^th, I am also making every preparation for entrance on August 28^th. I am putting my trust in the Lord – that He will direct many kind and generous hearts toward Litany Run in the next couple of weeks. As of this evening my debt is down to a beautiful $33,325.40! Still a long way to go, but I am excited to see what God is going to do over the next couple of weeks! I continue to pray with complete trust that His plan for me will be revealed in due time!

Sr. Mary Magdalene on her entrance day (a few years ago)
With Mother Mary Augustine, O.Praem.

A number of people have requested my WISHLIST – which I am happy to send out! Praise Jesus, this weekend I was able to purchase the main articles of clothing that will comprise my postulancy outfit – the skirt/shirts/jackets I will be wearing for the next nine months. Kind of intimidating to see myself dressed as a postulant for the first time (minus the veil and shoes). It all seems to become much more real when you look in the mirror and see one dressed in reverence and acceptance of the invitation to holy unity with the Creator of the universe.  

As my entrance date draws closer the reality that I am (God willing) leaving the “world” soon is beginning to set in. And with so much going on in the world it hardly seems possible that one would be able to die to it, to withdraw from all of its chaotic movement and settle into a quieter life of prayer. Yet some of us are called to this life and it is our responsibility to respond, to cooperate with God’s grace. What a blessing it has been to receive a number of messages/emails and even a few sponsorships from other people discerning religious life – both to the Norbertine order and other charisms! God is so generous with all He gives us, and it is so amazing to share with others as we embark upon our journeys to sainthood. This is what the Lord calls us ALL to! Sainthood! Whether He gives us an earthly spouse or calls us to Divine Espousal.

A friend posted this video on FB earlier today and I thought it was beautiful. My prayer is that someday, when I am old and gray, anyone will be able to look at me, and talk to me, and understand that I love God’s children with the same joy that this man has: 

Ordination, JP2, Mother Teresa & Frassati Time!

Whoa! Where have I been!? Recovering from a beautiful, holy weekend – that’s where. I hope everyone has been well!

I was blessed, once again, to visit St. Michael’s Abbey for Vespers and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament on Friday evening before attending the ordination of two new priests and a deacon on Saturday morning. The Mission Basilica in San Juan Capistrano was packed for the newly ordained Fr. Nathaniel, Fr. Alan and Deacon fr. David, and it was a beautiful celebration by Bishop Vann, Abbot Eugene Hayes and a great number of other priests from both inside and outside the Order.

The first two St. Michael's Abbey ordained priests (Fr. Leo and Fr. Robert) blessing the two last St. Michael's abbey ordained priests (Fr. Nathaniel and Fr. Alan). Photo by Rick Belcher Photography.

First blessing from Fr. Alan

First blessing from Fr. Nathaniel

After the mass I went to the reception and received first blessings from both of our new priests! I hadn’t met either of them before – but let them know that I would be entering the Order soon and that I would be praying for them. They were both so kind and I was humbled when they expressed gratitude for the sisters I will be joining. I even got to have a wonderful conversation about St. Faustina and vocations with the mother of another confrere (whose family was visiting all the way from Canada!) while we were in line for our blessings. I am so blessed to be entering this amazing Norbertine family. 

The on Sunday I went to the TLM here in Fresno for the first time in a few weeks – where Fr. Beaugrand, FSSP celebrated mass for us. He gave a beautiful homily on the importance of continually growing ever more deeply in love with Our Lord. We can never be satisfied with our faith and good works, my friends! Heaven forbid I ever consider that I am doing enough… not even for one moment. We are called to Christian perfection and we must strive for this unceasingly, lest we grow lukewarm. It is amazing that these priests travel all the way from Sacramento a few times a month to celebrate the traditional rite here in the valley. I am so thankful for them.

Mother Dolores Hart, OSB - Being interviewed by our
diocesan news station's Colin Dougherty at
Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Fresno! 

Sunday night here in Fresno we were also graced with a visit from Mother Dolores Hart, OSB – who is currently out on tour doing book signings. It was beautiful to hear a bit of her story – how she made the transition from Hollywood to a cloistered monastery – and a little about what life has been like for her since her entrance. The life she lives in her convent is quite similar to the life that I will be living in mine, and most of what she said really hit home, but I knew it would. She is a beautiful soul and I hope the Lord will use her book as an instrument to bring about a small amount of awareness about monastic life and the beauty of committing one’s life to the Lord in prayer.

This is the final day of Leg 4 and asking St. Cecilia’s intercession during the 99-Day Novena Relay! She has been working hard for us in heaven and I’m sure she will continue to do so. But oh boy tomorrow we kick off Leg 5 and guess who’re coming to our assistance… Bl. John Paul the Great and Bl. Teresa of Calcutta! Deo Gratias! They really came through for me in the months leading up to my marathon and I know that they are going to intercede for you in amazing ways as well! Umm also, how amazing is this…

Today is Day 1 of the international novena to 

BL. PIER GIORGIO FRASSATI (Litany Run’s patron saint)! In 9 days it will be July 4th and his feast day. Wow! 

This post from Chris, who runs FrassatiUSA.org, really hit home for me today. Chris talks about the struggles and challenges of persevering in the FrassatiUSA ministry which was founded to provide support to young adults who want to foster faithful community the way Bl. Pier Giorgio did with his friends. These struggles deal mainly with finances – which of course is something that I understand. The tone of this blog post is one of all-too-familiar exhaustion, supported by a strong foundation of hope and trust in the Lord. It seems that while moral and prayerful support for FrassatiUSA is abundant, financial support is less than.

I know that I have written posts that sound similar to it over the past few months. Posts where I may sound like I am admitting defeat or losing hope at times. I pray I have been prudent in how much I share with you all about the spiritual struggles that come with the uncertainty of a financial pursuit such as Litany Run, and such as Chris’s effort to gain support for FrassatiUSA. To be honest, this pursuit is sometimes overwhelming and yes, moments of doubt do creep in. But I pray that the Lord will strengthen me and that, like the end of Chris’s post – I always leave you with the assurance that I trust in God’s plan and timing, and that hope always remains even when situations seem almost impossible. For me I suppose that is maybe a little dramatic. I know my loans will be paid off with time, even if it takes longer than I’d like. But for FrassatiUSA the very real possibility that the ministry may have to significantly cut back on available resources due to lack of funding… well that is something I will definitely be keeping deep in the heart of my prayers.

Because of this wonderful the Lord established a devotion to Bl. Pier Giorgio in the hearts of several of my friends and me, through this novena to him last fall. Since then he has grown to be such a friend to me and has become a very powerful presence on my journey to entering religious life. This patron saint of young people is a shining beacon of light for our generation and we can all learn so much from his short but holy life. He was fervently devoted to Our Lord in the Eucharist and settled for nothing less than living out his faith, proving himself to be a man of the beatitudes through every moment of his life. May we all desire for our love of God to be manifested through our charity toward His children the way Bl. Pier Giorgio’s was. Please join me in this novena to him as we prepare for his feast day on July 4^th! I hear there are going to be fireworks and everything.

I’m sorry that I haven’t been as consistent with updating about my entrance/training/financial status. There has been much going on lately! Half marathon training is right on track and I’m halfway into Week 2 of my official training. Haha – my “long” run on Sunday was fun… 4mi and started at 7:30am. It’s a relief not to be training my body for a 5:30am start time anymore. God is good and he is making me stronger every day. Tomorrow is a recovery day and I’m really excited about it. During my last visit to the priory Mother Mary Augustine gave me a list of things I need to prepare to bring when I enter. I’d like to have all of these things prepared for August, even though at this point I still have a mountain of debt to overcome. I’ve set up a WISHLIST page on litanyrun.com where you can email me if you’d like to receive a list of items I need. Maybe instead of donating to my student loans, you’d like to donate an item I will use for the rest of my life in the cloister (or at least for my first few years as a novice…)! In less than a month I will return to the priory for the dedication of the new house and poooossibly be meeting some of my future postulant sisters. As of right now it sounds like I am the only one set to enter in August (God willing) but there may be more joining later in the year. Please keep us all in your prayers! I am waiting for some loan payments to be put through and I will update you on my currently needed amount very soon! I am also trying to keep that number updated as regularly as possible on the homepage of litanyrun.com. 

Remember that you can always help me with a small gift like $5, $10 or $15 if the Lord moves your heart to do so at www.gofundme.com/litanyrun! 

I am praying for you! God bless you!

Calling on St. Cecilia

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the amazing men out there who have ever made a sacrifice for their children. Which is all dads of course. My own father has worked his patootie off my entire life to be able to give me and my brother everything that we need. I am so blessed to come from such an amazing family. Thank you St. Joseph for protecting us! Please keep my brother safe on his deployment so that he can come home and begin a family of his own. My parents need grandbabies! :).

My friends, my heart is so happy to share with you that a few days ago I relaunched www.litanyrun.com. It's got a new look and new information about my entrance status... and plans to run the Water to Wine Half Marathon in northern California on August 11th! Another opportunity to invoke the angels and saints for your prayer requests, to run for my vocation, and to give God glory through physical sacrifice for the salvation of souls. As of today my debt is down to $35,947. My 8-week training begins tomorrow! Deo gratias!

Tomorrow we also beging Leg 4 of the 99-Day Novena RELAY - praying for vocations and our own personal intentions. We're heading for 99 days toward the Feast of St. Augustine and my currently assigned entrance date! 73 days go to! Along with Our Lady of Fatima, St. Benedict, Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati and St. Evermode, we will also ask the special intercession of St. Cecilia for the next 9 days.

I was blessed to spend five days with the Nashville Dominicans last summer. What a beautiful active community. The Order of Preachers will always hold a special place in my heart, as I felt called to join them for much of my discernment. My heart was set for a very long time on becoming a teaching sister and evangelizing the culture through making young people aware of the beauty of religious life through my being a living breathing example of one in love with and totally committed to God, in the world. But it was actually during my trip to Nashville that my heart was awakened to the possibility that I might not be called to active religious life.

As music played, Cecilia sang to God, 

"make my heart immaculate that I might not be put to shame." 

(Cantantibus Organis)

You see, for all the beauty of life as a Dominican, (and believe me... IT. IS. BEAUTIFUL...) for me there was still something missing. For five days I was surrounded with literally hundreds of the most passionately faithful women I have ever come across. Their love of God and desire to serve Him, each other, and the lay faithful - was inspiring to say the least. I admire the work they do and their fidelity to our Beloved. I actually went there with every intention to apply for entrance if I felt it was what the Lord was calling me to do. But after a weekend of prayer and fantastical times with many of the sisters, the vocations director felt it wasn't the best time for me to apply just yet. And while at the time I was a bit caught off guard by her advisement, in retrospect I view that week as one filled with beauty ... and yet one that was, for whatever reason, still a little unsettling and something not-quite-right. I remember feeling throughout the week that I always wished there was a little bit more time for prayer, or that I could stay in the church just a little bit longer, or that there was maybe just a little more time for silence. Don't get me wrong! They are VERY prayerful and spend A LOT of time with the Lord. I just found myself wanting even more of it, for some reason. To my own surprise, the grandeur of the gorgeous church and splendor of the grounds (which are, of course, meant to aid in the sisters' pursuit of quiet contemplation), were perhaps just a little overwhelming for me. I found myself meditating on my desire for poverty and simplicity during that weekend. Of course now we know it was because the Lord is calling me to the cloister. But maybe it took a visit to one of the most beautiful and wonderful active orders in America for me to realize that I am called to a quieter life.  

But St. Cecilia (the patroness of the Nashville Dominicans) remains close to my heart as she is the patron saint of musicians and, if you have been following my story, you might know that I went to school to be in musical theatre and have enjoyed being in church choirs all my life :). I love singing and can't wait to enter a life where I am singing the praises of the Lord for much of every day. 

Please pray through this blessed saint that all aspirants to the priesthood and religious life who are hoping to enter their communities this year will be provided with whatever they need to do so! That we may begin to sing a new song to the Lord with our while lives and entire beings. And pray for our peace of heart - that, should the Lord want us to wait a little longer, they will trust that He has great work for us to continue in the world for a while longer. 

God bless you!

Quick Update / Upcoming Announcement

Greetings brothers and sisters! Happy Feast of St. Anthony of Padua! Did you know that he was ordained as a Canon Regular before transferring to the order of Friars Minor? The prayer life he had to back up his awesome preaching must have been tres cool.

Are we really almost halfway through June already? Wow time flies. I spent this past weekend at the Bethlehem Priory of St. Joseph with my future sisters, (and some of my future brothers too… the Novices from St. Michael’s Abbey came for a day-visit!). I’m so happy to tell you that they’ve moved into their new building! Praise Jesus that they are finally out of the old trailers that were, according to Mother, quite run-down and not very good for their health. I had a beautiful weekend of peace, prayer, and too much feasting. Ok well really, I actually tried to practice a bit of temperance… but it was really lovely to have three Feast days in a row! Feast of St. Norbert on the 6^th, then the Sacred Heart of Jesus, then the Immaculate Heart of Mary! What a blessing to be there and pray with the community for the whole weekend. Every time I go there, I go fully expecting not a whole lot to happen. But at the end of every visit I leave having experienced so much grace that I feel quite silly for underestimating Our Lord so much.

Friends, I am happy to tell you that even while my debt remains substantial in these last final few months, I think that the Lord is confirming for me – more and more through many graces and blessings – that the time to enter is at the end of August this year. I know that I still have a long way to go to pay off my loans, but I know that if He wants me in the convent this fall, He will make Himself known in the hearts of those who are able to assist me, and all will be resolved in time. I am so thankful for this peace He has given me about it all, and I pray that those who are in similar situations to me are at peace with His desire for their entrance date as well. But since I so strongly believe that August 28^th is the day I am meant to enter, it’s time to plunge into my next and potentially final fundraising effort.

On Friday at 3pm I will announce my effort for the next two months, and launch my new/updated website. Please check back then for information on how you can help me (or spread the word if you’ve already helped) and please continue to keep me and all aspirants in your prayers. Especially the growing number of good men who have been accepted into St. Michael’s Abbey for postulancy in August!

May God bless you and keep you holy.